by: Ryan Nelson
Deep State Registration number: 08041962 (Barack Obama’s true birth date, taken from his Kenyan birth certificate, safely kept in cryo-stasis next to Walt Disney).
Hello, all my Fox Hawk friends. With all the outing of confidential informants going on these days, I figured I’d better get ahead of the curve and out myself as a Deep State actor and propagandist.
For you less literate Republicans out there, that means that everything Sean Hannity and Donald Trump has said about the Deep State is true, and that should scare you right-wingers more than anything else, because as of yet, Republicans have been powerless to stop the Deep State from fraudulently investigating an innocent, duly-elected United States President.
Deep State fast fact: Crossfire Hurricane isn’t the first time the Deep State-owned FBI has made a reference to a famous rock band. Crossfire Hurricane is, of course, the name of the specific assignment within the FBI to investigate the Trump campaign side of the Russia/Trump collusion investigation. The name is of course referencing the first line of a Rolling Stones song.
However, in the 1970, the first incarnation of the Deep State was actually named the Deep Purple State, however, the Purple was dropped after President Richard Nixon provoked the opening of operation Smoke on the Watergate Hotel.
Uh-oh, I’ve got to go, my electric car is running out of solar power as I travel to a Deep State meeting in San Francisco, California, the Front of the West Coast Deep State stronghold. I’m running out of electricity because I am bringing with me four members of the Mexican Cartel gang MS-26 (they are twice as criminal of MS-13 members) to Northern California to claim amnesty and undermine Trump’s ability to get at them. I have the Deep State regional representative from Oakland, mayor Libby Shaaf, to thank for making this (il)legal border crossing possible. She tipped me off about a great electric car rental place.